When the lights go to black and the band leaves the stage
And you wanted an encore but there's no encore today
Cause the moment is now, can't get it back from the grave..."
Time is a sneaky little thing. It's been almost 4 months since I last saw Tim's face in RealTime, and it seems like yesterday. But sometimes it seems like 4 years. I guess what I realize, to the full extent now, is that time is precious. Time is an opportunity to seize the day- to do something you want to do, to say something you want to say, to make a difference in someone's world, if not your own. I want my time on this Earth to be meaningful. Karlene, Tiffany, and I went to a small memorial at Sharp Hospital last month, and they read a poem called "The Dash"- On your headstone, there will be a birthdate, and a death date, but what really matters is what the dash in between those years holds. Who you loved. What you accomplished. What impact you made. Where you traveled. What your time on this Earth equates to. We talk about Tim's dash all the time- all the memories he had for each one of us, all the times we laughed with him, all the times he made us mad, or made us smile, or made us thankful that we had someone like him in our lives. All the places he visited, the difference he made in each of our lives, and all the times that he deserved to get kicked in the shins. \
I love how long periods of time can sometimes feel like no time at all. We all have those friends that we don't talk to or see for long periods of time, and then you catch up over coffee and it seems like you just saw them last weekend. I saw Nancy last weekend in Denver, and that's exactly what it was like- a quick hug hello, a "How are you?", and then right into laughing and carrying on like we still lived in a 4-girl dorm in college. Same with Tasha, who I seriously drive 45 minutes to in order for her to take care of the mane on top of my head. Obviously, she's superb at what she does, but it's because even though I've only known Tasha for a short time, it seems like we have known each other for years. Time is funny that way.
I saw this little quote on Facebook the other day that said, "Your body will be around a lot longer than that expensive handbag. Invest in yourself." I don't know why, but that's been my mantra going forward this month. Those of you that know me know that I'm not the expensive handbag kind of girl, but it just reminded me that we are stuck with our bodies until the end of our time. We should be good to them. We shouldn't put poison in them. We shouldn't eat bad stuff (or at least in moderation, and NO, I refuse to count Rubio's as "bad" so don't even bring it up). We should workout, do yoga, relax, get massages, thank our bodies for putting up with all the shit we put them through. I took a leap forward and signed up with a personal trainer (I start next week, God help me), and yes, I know that I'm fit, especially in the cardio realm, but I need an extra push to get me where I want and need to be. That's where Sherry comes in, and I'm expecting her to push me to my limit and tell Fat Jess from College that she needs to go back into hiding. Indefinitely.
One of my favorite "times" with Tim, and one that I have been missing so miserably lately, was this:
I come home from work.
I yell out, "Bear!"
He's laying on the couch, watching History Channel, he replies "What, ya Bear?" Then gives me this little sly smile.
I walk over to the couch, give him a kiss, and just crawl up next to him, his body fitting mine exactly, my head buried in his chest. He runs his fingers through my hair and we ask each other about our days.
It's a blissful moment in time.
It seems like yesterday. Or sometimes a year ago. I kind of hate coming home from work now, when that's the moment I used to come home to.
I've been hearing this song on the radio quite a bit lately, and I like it more and more every time I hear it. Time flies by. It's happening as I write this. How did December sneak up on us so fast? How have I made it this far without a mental breakdown (obviously, this is because of the amazing love and support from friends and family, but still I wonder...)? How have I not gotten so lost here and ended up in Mexico? How have I survived 4 months without him? Where did the time go?
Let's make our dashes count.
Come A Little Closer- Cage The Elephant
Time shakes, found you at the water
At first you were my father, now I love you like a brother
Earthquakes shake the dust behind you
This world at times will blind you
Still I know I'll see you there
Chorus:
Come a little closer then you'll see
Come on, come on, come on
Things aren’'t always what they seem to be
Come on, come on, come on
Do you understand the things that you've been seein'
Come on, come on, come on
Do you understand the things that you've been dreaming
Come a little closer then you'll see
Heartbreaks, the heavy world's upon your shoulders
Will we burn or we just smolder
So now I know I found you there
Mmm, wanna see if you can change it, change it
Still I know I'll see you there
Chorus:
Come a little closer, then you'll see
Come on, come on, come on
Things aren'’t always what they seem to be
Come on, come on, come on
Do you understand the things that you've been seein'
Come on, come on, come on
Do you understand the things that you’'ve been dreaming
Come a little closer then you'll see
Come a little closer then you'll see
Ten thousand people stand alone now
And in the evening the sun sets,
Tomorrow it will rise
Time flies by, they all sing along
Time flies by, they all sing along
Time flies by, they all sing along
Time flies by, by
Chorus:
Come a little closer then you'll see
Come on, come on, come on
Come a little closer then you'll see
Come a little closer then you'll see
Come a little closer then you'll see
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVYup3Qwh8Q
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