King and Lionheart.

"Give me my Romeo, and when he shall die, cut him out into little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine, that all the world will be in love with night..."

I would have followed Tim anywhere. If he wanted to go to Russia, I would have packed us the best jackets. If he wanted to go to the moon, I would brushed up on my space knowledge. If he wanted to go live in a tent in the jungle, I would think he's crazy, but I would have tossed bug spray in my bag and followed him. I was madly in love with him. When you're madly in love, you don't care if you're sitting in a snake pit, or sailing the waters, as long as you're together, you feel safe. He was my safety. My protector. He was my King, and I his Lionheart.
My mom got us a Groupon to take some sailing lessons last Valentine's Day. A cute little gift that turned into a mild obsession of ours. Once we had the lesson, we were hooked. Tim probably more so. He was so comfortable out there on the water (not that sailing a small Capri is hard, but I was more timid than he was). We had a "typical" SoCal girl teach how to sail (when she was actually from Texas! Would have never guessed) and then we were on our own. We had so much fun that day, just sailing in the beautiful sun, enjoying each others company. We enjoyed it so much that we decided a few weekends later to go out again by ourselves. We had another amazing time, until the clouds rolled in. Then we were stuck. We could see the dock- we could have swam to it!- but our boat just sat there in the still water. It suddenly became super chilly, and Tim was in and out of the water trying to push this boat along the shoreline because he was too stubborn (and cheap) to call for a tow. And so we sat. We were chilled to the bone, and getting heckled by some half-homeless, ignorant, high, dirty teenagers that were fishing next to us. I can't believe we kept our cool. Finally, Tim said, "Just call them already!" and we waited another 45 minutes for them to come get us, from a dock that we could see with our own eyes. The company ended up being super nice about the situation, not charging us a fee for going over our hours, and not laughing at us when we pulled in to the dock. I remember we were so cold, and we started running toward the car. All of a sudden we both started laughing so hard- we couldn't believe that just happened! We were laughing all the way to the car, swearing to each other up and down that we would NEVER tell another soul about this. Never! Laughing on the way back to the car is one of the best memories I have with him. The fact that we didn't throw each other off of the boat was amazing in my mind- and then we laughed about it all the way home.

I've been trying to honor Tim the best way I know how- by surrounding myself with people that we both loved and cared for, and doing things with those people that we would have both enjoyed. I think #timstrongoctober has been going very well- I've been packing my schedule with events that I know Tim would have liked. Disneyland with Sara. Apple picking in Julian with the Wirth Family. Italian Festa with the Tanksley crew. Avila Valley Barn with the Courtneys. I've seen some great posts from other people as well, celebrating Tim and his life. There were moments during these outings that I felt so sad because Tim wasn't there with us. It's still very hard for me to comprehend that he's no longer in this world- it just doesn't seem possible.

 

 

As I drove down the 101 back from Ben and Calisse's house, past the beautiful ocean and blue skies, I felt so alone. I have only ever driven that route with Tim right next to me, and this was my first trip alone without him. I'm always in such awe of the drive up and back from Santa Ynez because it's absolutely stunning- and it now reminds me of Tim and how beautiful he was, how happy we were, and how much we loved life together. We drove up and down the coast quite a bit, and everything reminded me of a conversation we had, or something he told me, or how we would just sit quietly, listening to music and staring out at the beautiful coastline. I miss him so much. My King. My Everything. My World.

We never got to see Of Monsters and Men in concert- it was on our To-Do list together. Tim was pissed that they were to going to Columbus, and not San Diego (but I told him- Columbus has an amazing music scene!). The last 2 months of his life, he was listening to their album non-stop. The album is absolutely stunning, beautiful, and slightly haunting. I tried to listen to it today at work, but still couldn't make it past the first song. In time, I will. This is one of my favorites. Goodnight my love, my Romeo.

 

King and Lionheart- Of Monsters and Men

 

Taking over this town, they should worry.
But these problems aside, I think I've taught you well.
That we won't run, and we won't run, and we won't run.
That we won't run, and we won't run, and we won't run.

And in the winter night sky, ships are sailing,
Looking down on these bright blue city lights.
And they won't wait, and they won't wait, and they won't wait.
We're here to stay, we're here to stay, we're here to stay.

Howling ghosts they reappear
In mountains that are stacked with fear,
But you're a king, and I'm a lionheart.
A lionheart.

His crown lit up the way as we moved slowly,
Past the watering eyes of the ones we've left behind.
Though far away, though far away, though far away,
We're still the same, we're still the same, we're still the same.

Howling ghosts they reappear
In mountains that are stacked with fear
But you're a king, and I'm a lionheart.

And in the sea that's painted black
Creatures lurk below the deck
But you're a king and I'm a lionheart.

As the world comes to an end, I'll be there to hold your hand
'Cause you're my king, and I'm your lionheart.
A lionheart.

Howling ghosts they reappear
In mountains that are stacked with fear
But you're a king, and I'm a lionheart.

And in the sea that's painted black
Creatures lurk below the deck
But you're a king and I'm a lionheart.
A lionheart

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A76a_LNIYwE