Stealing this quote from Rachel's Facebook page this morning, as she borrowed it from the great Snoop Dogg's Instagram feed. The Dogg is right. I've been struggling a little this week from the minor backlash and a few judgments I've received from my infamous Sunday Funday at the Hard Rock this past weekend. Can I share this photo with you again?
Tim taught me to have thick skin, to not worry about what other people think, and to just live my life how I want to live it. Which is exactly what I do on a daily basis. You cannot know me and love me without loving all of me. Loving the girl that has been through hell and back. Loving the girl that teaches dance classes and enjoys every second of it. Loving the girl that sits on 2 separate committees that raise funds to help end cancer. Loving the girl that *gasp* likes to party every once in awhile and just let loose. Loving the girl that loves and respects you back, that doesn't like to judge, that goes with the flow. Loving the girl that works hard every day, that juggles a million things per week, and that always tried to make herself available for her friends and family. If you don't like a piece of me, then I won't hold it against you. Just don't hold it against me.
Last night kicked off what is going to be a busy, busy summer for me, and for my San Diego friends as well. The Relay For Life Kickoff party starts the summer of fundraising, running, walking, advocacy, and education for helping to end this beast called "cancer". Denette, Steve, and Karlene all joined me for the night, and I know it helped Karlene think about some awesome fundraising opportunities for the Relay this year. Together, we will continue Tim's fight. We will remember him as he should be remembered. We will honor his life and hopefully make a difference in someone else's life. I wore the dress that I wore to Tim's funeral last night. I never thought I would ever wear it again- I can vividly remember sobbing in the dressing room after my mom told me I looked beautiful. I could only think about how I was looking beautiful to go to my boyfriend's funeral and I lost it. But this dress is a part of my journey, and it deserves to be a shown off during the journey. I might not be on the Relay committee if it wasn't for my loss, so it has special meaning to be worn.
I'm throwing it back to Sara Bareilles this week again. "I Wanna Be Like Me" is a song that says exactly that- I only want to be who I want to be. Not who people think I should be. Not who people think I ought to be. Just me. That's who Tim told me to be, and the woman he fell in love with. I will never apologize for being me, for enjoying every nook and cranny of life, for being a "Yes Woman". And I hope you do the same. I love every single one of my true friends and family for who they are, what they are to me, what they mean in my world and their own. And if I don't say it enough, I love you!
"I Wanna Be Like Me"- Sara Bareilles
Oh
What if I wanna be the one who
Never looks like anybody?
What if I wanna be the one who
Goes her own way?
Would you still believe in someone like me?
What if I wanna be the one who
Doesn't belong here?
What if I wanna be the one who
Won't fit in?
Would you find a new way to make room for me?
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Not to make you cry
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Just because I was made to be exactly like me
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Not to tear you down
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Because I found I was made to be exactly like me
I wanna be like me
Oh
What if I wanna be the one who
Doesn't need to hide?
What if I wanna be the one who
Won't apologize?
I'm not the enemy
Unless you want the truth to see
What if I wanna be the one who
You never understand?
Do you ever think you'll ever want to still try to hold my hand?
To get through to you I'm still trying to
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Not to make you cry
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Just because I was made to be exactly like me
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Not to tear you down
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Because I found I was made to be exactly like me
I wanna be like me
[Break]
What if I don't wanna be like you?
What if I don't wanna be like you?
What if I don't wanna be like you?
What if I don't wanna be like you?
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Not to tear you down
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Because I found I was made to be exactly like me
What if I wanna be the one who
Never looks like anybody?
What if I wanna be the one who
Goes her own way?
Would you still believe in someone like me?
What if I wanna be the one who
Doesn't belong here?
What if I wanna be the one who
Won't fit in?
Would you find a new way to make room for me?
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Not to make you cry
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Just because I was made to be exactly like me
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Not to tear you down
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Because I found I was made to be exactly like me
I wanna be like me
Oh
What if I wanna be the one who
Doesn't need to hide?
What if I wanna be the one who
Won't apologize?
I'm not the enemy
Unless you want the truth to see
What if I wanna be the one who
You never understand?
Do you ever think you'll ever want to still try to hold my hand?
To get through to you I'm still trying to
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Not to make you cry
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Just because I was made to be exactly like me
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Not to tear you down
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Because I found I was made to be exactly like me
I wanna be like me
[Break]
What if I don't wanna be like you?
What if I don't wanna be like you?
What if I don't wanna be like you?
What if I don't wanna be like you?
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Not to tear you down
What if I don't wanna be like you?
Because I found I was made to be exactly like me
I wanna be like me
I Wanna Be Like Me
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